الحياة تحت الحجاب الإسلامي
Life under the Muslim veil
ARE you sure there is no bomb in there?
A question from a casually dressed young guy was ringing in my ears
after I stepped out of the George St Apple Retail Store in a
full-length black dress and headwear. And this is what Muslim women have
to deal with every day in Sydney. Adrenaline was pumping and I wanted
to rip off my Muslim garb and be me again. But I didn’t. I bit my tongue
because I knew I had already come so far.Much worse than the racist and abusive taunts cast my way from a steady stream of Sydneysiders was the inability to show them how I felt. Yes, the shroud covered my skin, my hair, my eyes, my identity but what hurt most was having my emotions hidden from the world.
I desperately wanted the world to see my hidden smile. I wanted to interact with people.
My journey posing as a Muslim started at Central Station, but the first steps towards this experience came much earlier.
It was after no small amount of deliberation that I took on the assignment asked of me by my editor — to spend two days in the traditional niqab dress in two different parts of Sydney to see how people would react.
Moments after walking into the station, I knew my presence was making people uncomfortable. Two children sniggered at me as they walked past, while another two men stopped to stare at me.
But it was not as bad as I thought. Before taking on the challenge; I had fears of being spat on, or even pushed in front of a train.
Some would only take a split second glance before looking away, but others would stare for longer in disbelief.
I felt hated and completely alienated from the rest of the world, so hidden and alone. When I was waiting for a train, I was getting used to my new identity, but my confidence was quickly battered when a man yelled “dirty religion”. Everyone really began to stare. I felt bullied, it felt so unfair.
When I went to purchase a punnet of strawberries at a fruit stand at Martin Place, the shopkeeper raised an eyebrow, but after I asked when raspberries would be back in season, my voice seemed to relax and the man seemed happy to talk to me.
At the next block, I went to buy a packet of chewing gum, but the shop worker ignored me and made another transaction with a man who had walked in after me.
I could not help but open my mouth, and said “I’m sorry but I think I was first”
A woman walked up to me and asked if I was “OK sweetheart”. It was reassuring — just a normal inquiry from one concerned Australian to another. It gave me hope.
Unsurprisingly, the experience of wearing the traditional garb in the CBD almost seemed a world away from doing so in Lakemba.
IN LAKEMBA
WEARING a niqab in Lakemba was like wearing a bikini at Bondi Beach.No big deal — but getting hold of the traditional dress was a bit of a different story.
But when I first arrived in Holden Street, Lakemba, wearing a white T-shirt and black pants, I knew straight away I did not fit in. It was enough to make me feel uncomfortable.
With not a clue where to start, I stopped a young Muslim girl on the street and asked where to find a niqab.
To my surprise, she offered to walk me to a shop and helped me find what I was looking for.
Once changed, I blended in instantly into the Lakemba community — I was no longer an outcast.
But I was wrong, under the protection of the niqab, I belonged. At a local grocery store I walked up to the shop keeper and asked where I could get a hamburger because I was so nervous, it was the only thing that came to mind.
The woman was friendly, but my heart sank when she asked if I was “Australian”.
“Yes,” I replied, and thanked the woman before leaving the shop.
After walking out I strolled down the street before stopping at a clothing shop and looked through a rack of dresses, desperately trying not to stick out.
No one looked twice.
I asked 18-year-old Zahra Hazime about her experience of wearing the scarf and she opened up about people’s reactions.
“Honestly, a little kid coming up to you and just giving you the biggest dirty look, and then the mum will be like “don’t speak to her,” It is really bad,” Ms Hazime said.
“You have to learn to put that on the side.”
“Everyone is their own person. I believe everyone can follow whatever religion that they want,
“With us Muslims we actually see other religions coming into ours,
“It is all the stuff that is happening, the ISIS are not even Muslim. They just make us look bad.
“All that is happening now is not right; they see the evil in everything.”
Amir Hamze, 17, said she regularly faces negative comments about her choice to wear traditional Muslim clothing.
“I have the scarf on for three years, everyone knows me here and people ask why I put it on. They say it is not nice,” Ms Hamze said.
“Taking off the scarf is like a sin.”
Reflecting on my experience behind the veil, it was interesting as an experiment, but I wondered how it must be to live like this all the time.